pauraque_bk: (xmas bird)
Thank you to those who sent cards! I received a lovely one with an ibis from someone whose RL name begins with M, but I'm afraid after racking my brain all day, I can't figure out who sent it. Help? :\

Very related: I am still having health problems. I've been to a lot of doctors but haven't found a definitive diagnosis so far, and at this point I'm reluctant to even say what the current theory is, because all previous theories have eventually been proven incorrect, and it starts to feel foolish to have to keep correcting myself. But whatever it turns out to be, the biggest issue right now is cognitive — I'm struggling with memory, concentration, and ability to do mentally strenuous tasks without becoming totally exhausted.

There are still rewarding things I can do with my time despite these challenges, and I'm grateful for that, but fandom is not really one of them. I'm trying to figure out a way to participate, because I miss you guys. I can still read my flist and comment sometimes, but I am afraid soon my comments will begin to be met with choruses of "who?" since I have disappeared otherwise. (My gaming friends, conversely, are probably getting sick of the sight of me, since actiony/repetitive tasks are something I am a champ at right now.)

In summary, I am really behind on everything AS USUAL, but I have a pretty good excuse this time!

I hope those of you who are celebrating holidays around this time are enjoying them, and I hope to be around more in the new year, if I can. ♥

Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment wherever you're comfortable.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
I am really, really, really behind on everything. I'm sorry! My health is only improving gradually and I've had to continue severely rationing the energy I'm spending on things, but I hope to catch up with online stuff soon.

Apropos of nothing, I was supposed to have a gold crown put on at the dentist last week. Supposed to. And almost did. Until the key moment when the dentist was about to fit it on, but lost her grip on it and dropped it directly down my throat, whereupon my swallow reflex triggered and the crown was gone for good. I didn't even register what was happening until it was over.

The dentist was extremely apologetic and offered to pay for everything, and the nurse I called assured me that swallowing a small piece of gold was very unlikely to be harmful. (Apparently gold is sometimes used as a supplement for arthritis sufferers?)

So that was my excitement for the month.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment wherever you're comfortable.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
Whoops, I haven't been around much the past week or so. I've been struggling with some really severe fatigue and lightheadedness, which the tests say is an odd sort of anemia, possibly related to the meds I have to take for other stuff. Chronic illness tends to be slippery like that — once you think you have a grip on a symptom, whatever you did to fix it messes up something else. But I have new meds and a good support system, so my hope is I'll be able to get back into the swing of things soon.

(I rarely turn off comments, but right now I'm in a very stressed mindset where I feel like I might react badly to well-intentioned questions or advice, so I'm just going to head that off at the pass. Still love you all. ♥)

Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment wherever you're comfortable.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
The Salt & Pepper fest master list is up! I wrote:

But Not Narrow (PG-13, Hermione/Ron, Hugo/OMC) [AO3]
Naturally, Hermione is completely supportive when Hugo comes out of the closet. It's a bit more of a surprise when Hugo returns the favour.

I loved writing this. The prompt, from [livejournal.com profile] sdkshelly, was about a middle-aged Hermione figuring out that she is not straight, a concept that I was instantly drawn to. There were so many ways to go with it that I was actually a little overwhelmed at first and had a hard time settling on just one idea. But when I found the right one, the story just seemed to write itself, which is extremely atypical for my writing process, and was a pleasant change. :P

Meanwhile, I am sick as a dog, and have been for over a week. I keep thinking I'm getting better, and then it's like... nope, not even close. I can't really complain too much, because since I quit working in retail I get sick very rarely (money and people are filthy, it turns out) but I'm certainly looking forward to feeling better soon. :\

Crossposted from Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment wherever you're comfortable.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
I have strep throat AGAIN. Cry.

Unrelatedly, I'm thinking about using my DW journal as a friends-locked thing to talk about my imminent process of becoming a step-parent. I don't want to do it here because it would involve creating filters, a process I hate and have always avoided on LJ. But if I did it on DW, people who wanted to read it would have to visit DW to do so, because you can't crosspost to an LJ filter (and hi, I still hate creating filters). You can give access to OpenID accounts, so it's not like anyone would have to actually create a DW account, but they'd have to go to the DW site.

In my mind this doesn't sound too bad, because I feel like only people who actually wanted to read about my personal life (there might be a handful?) would bother, so I would really know who I was talking to, and no one would be spammed who wasn't interested. And omg, this already sounds like some kind of horrible "if you *really* cared you'd come read my other journal", which is not what I mean or believe at all.

In any case, my normal stuff is not going away from LJ.


eta: Daily Snitch headline: "Voting is on for the fifth round of drabbles at (some community)..."

My brain read: "Vomiting is on..."
pauraque_bk: (Default)
I have strep throat AGAIN. Cry.

Unrelatedly, I'm thinking about using my DW journal as a friends-locked thing to talk about my imminent process of becoming a step-parent. I don't want to do it here because it would involve creating filters, a process I hate and have always avoided on LJ. But if I did it on DW, people who wanted to read it would have to visit DW to do so, because you can't crosspost to an LJ filter (and hi, I still hate creating filters). You can give access to OpenID accounts, so it's not like anyone would have to actually create a DW account, but they'd have to go to the DW site.

In my mind this doesn't sound too bad, because I feel like only people who actually wanted to read about my personal life (there might be a handful?) would bother, so I would really know who I was talking to, and no one would be spammed who wasn't interested. And omg, this already sounds like some kind of horrible "if you *really* cared you'd come read my other journal", which is not what I mean or believe at all.

In any case, my normal stuff is not going away from LJ.


eta: Daily Snitch headline: "Voting is on for the fifth round of drabbles at (some community)..."

My brain read: "Vomiting is on..."
pauraque_bk: (Default)
1) For those of you who have "you guys" for the plural of "you" in your spoken dialect, how do you form the possessive?

-you guys' (same pronunciation as singular)
-you guys's
-your guys's
-(something else?)

I just heard the cashier at the store say "your guys's", which is a formation I enjoy. Language change by analogy is so funny-strange. I probably say "you guys's" most of the time, but "your guys's" also seems natural to me.


2) What helps one stop waking up during the night? This is a new thing for me, and I assume it's stress related since nothing else in my life has changed. I fall asleep fine but wake up several times.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
1) For those of you who have "you guys" for the plural of "you" in your spoken dialect, how do you form the possessive?

-you guys' (same pronunciation as singular)
-you guys's
-your guys's
-(something else?)

I just heard the cashier at the store say "your guys's", which is a formation I enjoy. Language change by analogy is so funny-strange. I probably say "you guys's" most of the time, but "your guys's" also seems natural to me.


2) What helps one stop waking up during the night? This is a new thing for me, and I assume it's stress related since nothing else in my life has changed. I fall asleep fine but wake up several times.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
The offending tooth is gone!

If you are afraid of the dentist, do not read this. )

If you live in the bay area and need an oral surgeon, try Michael Doucet. He did my wisdom teeth too. He knows his shit. And his name sounds like he is a Cardassian, though to the best of my knowledge he is not.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
The offending tooth is gone!

If you are afraid of the dentist, do not read this. )

If you live in the bay area and need an oral surgeon, try Michael Doucet. He did my wisdom teeth too. He knows his shit. And his name sounds like he is a Cardassian, though to the best of my knowledge he is not.

yummy

Apr. 4th, 2009 12:36 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
Vicodin is delicious and nutritious. I'm going to be totally stoned at work. I'll probably do my job a lot better while high than while in horrible pain, since a large portion of my job involves being nice to customers and ignoring everything my boss says.

yummy

Apr. 4th, 2009 12:36 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
Vicodin is delicious and nutritious. I'm going to be totally stoned at work. I'll probably do my job a lot better while high than while in horrible pain, since a large portion of my job involves being nice to customers and ignoring everything my boss says.

fucking ow

Apr. 3rd, 2009 09:37 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
Still working the toothache remedies, and also got the dentist to score me some vicodin. I wonder why tooth pain gets so blindingly intense... what's the evolutionary value there? In the absence of modern dentistry wouldn't it just be a source of disabling pain for tons of the population? All the time in egyptology you hear about mummies with severely decayed and abcessed teeth (partly because of the environment; sand would get in their food and cause dental wear and tear), which boggles my mind. I'd rather have them all pulled out than that, though the prospect of having damaged teeth extracted without anesthesia is a bit daunting.

Maybe proximity to the face/brain/"self" makes it seem worse than it is? I don't know. God fucking damn it though.

fucking ow

Apr. 3rd, 2009 09:37 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
Still working the toothache remedies, and also got the dentist to score me some vicodin. I wonder why tooth pain gets so blindingly intense... what's the evolutionary value there? In the absence of modern dentistry wouldn't it just be a source of disabling pain for tons of the population? All the time in egyptology you hear about mummies with severely decayed and abcessed teeth (partly because of the environment; sand would get in their food and cause dental wear and tear), which boggles my mind. I'd rather have them all pulled out than that, though the prospect of having damaged teeth extracted without anesthesia is a bit daunting.

Maybe proximity to the face/brain/"self" makes it seem worse than it is? I don't know. God fucking damn it though.

teef

Apr. 2nd, 2009 05:36 pm
pauraque_bk: (tas alien underwear bullies)
I have a bad tooth that, for various reasons, can't be extracted until Wednesday.

I'm already doing Orajel and the saltwater mouthwash thing. Any other miracle cure suggestions?

teef

Apr. 2nd, 2009 05:36 pm
pauraque_bk: (tas alien underwear bullies)
I have a bad tooth that, for various reasons, can't be extracted until Wednesday.

I'm already doing Orajel and the saltwater mouthwash thing. Any other miracle cure suggestions?
pauraque_bk: (Default)
For like two minutes the LJ headers were showing the Halloween "undead journal" art. That... was perplexing.

Um, anyway, I forget whatever I was going to post about now. This is going to be frickin awesome and [livejournal.com profile] _hannelore is going to come see it with me before I/we leave. The 18th dynasty is leet in so many ways. I love the naysayers who are always like "meh Tut was a minor king!". Minor, right, the politics surrounding his ascension, reign, and death were totally MINOR.

I have a cold again.
pauraque_bk: (Default)
For like two minutes the LJ headers were showing the Halloween "undead journal" art. That... was perplexing.

Um, anyway, I forget whatever I was going to post about now. This is going to be frickin awesome and [livejournal.com profile] _hannelore is going to come see it with me before I/we leave. The 18th dynasty is leet in so many ways. I love the naysayers who are always like "meh Tut was a minor king!". Minor, right, the politics surrounding his ascension, reign, and death were totally MINOR.

I have a cold again.

whump

Feb. 7th, 2009 07:01 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
So today I felt basically fine, and then as I was ringing up a customer I started to feel dizzy. This went extremely quickly from "I feel dizzy" to "I better sit down after this customer" to "I am rapidly losing consciousness".

I made it to Boss's office and said I needed to sit down or something to that effect, and sat at her desk with my head between my knees for about 15 minutes while she ran out and picked up the line of people that I had abandoned.

I was probably seconds away from blacking out, I couldn't see a thing, my ears were ringing, and I could not sit up. It's a good thing I didn't actually go out cold, because then I imagine Boss would have called 911 and the day would have gotten a lot more interesting. And my bank account too.

When I was able to get up again Boss made me go eat some ginger snaps, which seemed to make me all better... Except that I had already eaten as much as I normally do, so I wasn't having low blood sugar or something. (Coincidentally Boss suffers from panic attacks during which she faints, so she took it very much in stride, perhaps imagining that everyone faints a lot. I don't!)

I guess almost fainting isn't as impressive as really fainting, but it certainly frightened the shit out of me.

whump

Feb. 7th, 2009 07:01 pm
pauraque_bk: (Default)
So today I felt basically fine, and then as I was ringing up a customer I started to feel dizzy. This went extremely quickly from "I feel dizzy" to "I better sit down after this customer" to "I am rapidly losing consciousness".

I made it to Boss's office and said I needed to sit down or something to that effect, and sat at her desk with my head between my knees for about 15 minutes while she ran out and picked up the line of people that I had abandoned.

I was probably seconds away from blacking out, I couldn't see a thing, my ears were ringing, and I could not sit up. It's a good thing I didn't actually go out cold, because then I imagine Boss would have called 911 and the day would have gotten a lot more interesting. And my bank account too.

When I was able to get up again Boss made me go eat some ginger snaps, which seemed to make me all better... Except that I had already eaten as much as I normally do, so I wasn't having low blood sugar or something. (Coincidentally Boss suffers from panic attacks during which she faints, so she took it very much in stride, perhaps imagining that everyone faints a lot. I don't!)

I guess almost fainting isn't as impressive as really fainting, but it certainly frightened the shit out of me.

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