pauraque_bk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pauraque_bk) wrote2004-11-30 12:03 am
pauraque_bk) wrote2004-11-30 12:03 am
The dread balloon, round II
Round I: Dolores Umbridge
'Perhaps we should draw straws,' suggested Percy Weasley hesitantly.
'Don't be ridiculous. Surely someone heavy should be the one to go,' said Mrs Lestrange, still emaciated from her time in Azkaban. She glanced meaningfully at Mr Pettigrew, a rival for her Lord's favour.
A look of panic flashed across Pettigrew's face, and in a moment he was gone, replaced by a ragged grey rat who darted across the floor of the basket to cower under the hem of Lord Voldemort's robes.
Dumbledore peered over the side, gauging their position. 'A wise thought, Peter,' he remarked, 'but I fear we are still losing altitude.'
Mrs Lestrange looked disappointed, but turned her gaze disdainfully to Mr Dursley. 'The Muggle, then, he's a portly fellow--'
'I should have known!' bellowed Mr Dursley, going red in the face. 'This has all been a homicidal plot, right from the start! What about her?' He pointed accusatorily at Ms Umbridge. 'She must weigh more than me by a stone, at least!'
'Poor creature,' said Umbridge demurely (though she had gone rather flushed herself). 'Losing his eyesight... perhaps it would be best to put him out of his misery.'
'He is only a Muggle, after all,' Lord Voldemort agreed, looking amused.
'I like that!' said Fudge. 'This is meant to be a peace negotiation! How would it look if we came back having drowned the only Muggle aboard?'
'Enough talk!' said Mrs Lestrange, grabbing Umbridge (who was closest to her) by the arm. 'Out you go!'
'Fine by me,' said Mr Dursley firmly, and seized Umbridge as well.
'Cornelius, do something!' Umbridge shrieked as the two of them began to push her over the side.
'I-- I'll make sure you receive a posthumous Order of Merlin for your bravery, my dear,' said Fudge, wringing his hands.
No one else seemed particularly eager to rescue her -- though Percy Weasley did look a bit concerned -- and over she went, screaming all the way down, ending in an impressive ker-splash.
There was a pregnant pause as the remaining seven waited for the balloon to begin gaining altitude again. Dumbledore checked their position, and slowly shook his head. 'Alas,' he said.
[Poll #394127]
[EDIT: This round is closed. Proceed to round III.]
'Perhaps we should draw straws,' suggested Percy Weasley hesitantly.
'Don't be ridiculous. Surely someone heavy should be the one to go,' said Mrs Lestrange, still emaciated from her time in Azkaban. She glanced meaningfully at Mr Pettigrew, a rival for her Lord's favour.
A look of panic flashed across Pettigrew's face, and in a moment he was gone, replaced by a ragged grey rat who darted across the floor of the basket to cower under the hem of Lord Voldemort's robes.
Dumbledore peered over the side, gauging their position. 'A wise thought, Peter,' he remarked, 'but I fear we are still losing altitude.'
Mrs Lestrange looked disappointed, but turned her gaze disdainfully to Mr Dursley. 'The Muggle, then, he's a portly fellow--'
'I should have known!' bellowed Mr Dursley, going red in the face. 'This has all been a homicidal plot, right from the start! What about her?' He pointed accusatorily at Ms Umbridge. 'She must weigh more than me by a stone, at least!'
'Poor creature,' said Umbridge demurely (though she had gone rather flushed herself). 'Losing his eyesight... perhaps it would be best to put him out of his misery.'
'He is only a Muggle, after all,' Lord Voldemort agreed, looking amused.
'I like that!' said Fudge. 'This is meant to be a peace negotiation! How would it look if we came back having drowned the only Muggle aboard?'
'Enough talk!' said Mrs Lestrange, grabbing Umbridge (who was closest to her) by the arm. 'Out you go!'
'Fine by me,' said Mr Dursley firmly, and seized Umbridge as well.
'Cornelius, do something!' Umbridge shrieked as the two of them began to push her over the side.
'I-- I'll make sure you receive a posthumous Order of Merlin for your bravery, my dear,' said Fudge, wringing his hands.
No one else seemed particularly eager to rescue her -- though Percy Weasley did look a bit concerned -- and over she went, screaming all the way down, ending in an impressive ker-splash.
There was a pregnant pause as the remaining seven waited for the balloon to begin gaining altitude again. Dumbledore checked their position, and slowly shook his head. 'Alas,' he said.
[Poll #394127]
[EDIT: This round is closed. Proceed to round III.]
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Peter should crawl into Percy's pocket and they can float away in happiness. And when Percy gets back to land he can be the new Minister and Peter can be the new Dark Lord.
And they can have very jam-y sex with each other....
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