My God, Eo, I'm so sorry. I know how much you've put on hold in order to be with her and make this time easier for her - what a cruel shock, when she was on the mend, for her to be taken so suddenly.

I don't know what else to say, except try to be gentle with yourself. It's going to take a while for you to be able to re-orient yourself enough to know what to do now. Give yourself a lot of space for that.

On a practical note, do you expect that you'll have custody of your brother? From what you've told me I have trouble imagining him going to your father.