The dread balloon, round VII

Round I: Dolores Umbridge
Round II: Vernon Dursley
Round III: Cornelius Fudge
Round IV: Bellatrix Lestrange
Round V: Albus Dumbledore
Round VI: Lord Voldemort

'Well... this should be very easy,' Lord Voldemort continued, still smiling as he advanced on Percy. 'A Ministry paper-pusher, pitted against the most powerful wizard in existence. I may not have my wand, but we are still two against one.'

Percy went white with horror. 'But-- I-- I helped you! I thought I was doing the right thing!'

Lord Voldemort chuckled, rolling his red eyes. 'Yes,' he hissed, 'they always do...'

Percy backed away as the Dark wizard advanced on him, until he bumped into the basket wall and could go no further. He put up his arm on instinct to shield himself, unable to look-- waiting to be seized and thrown overboard like the others... waiting...

'ARGH! Wormtail, what are you doing!?'

Percy's eyes flew open-- the fat little man had reappeared behind his master, and had him by the neck with his vicious-looking silver hand. Lord Voldemort grasped at his throat, struggling for Pettigrew to release him. 'Let go of me, you--!' His words were cut off with a choke as Pettigrew tightened his grip and began to pull the Dark wizard to the edge of the basket.

'Fool!' said Voldemort in a strangled cry. 'Do you believe drowning can defeat me? If you live, you will regret this betrayal!'

Pettigrew didn't answer, but with a massive effort -- sweating and huffing for breath -- hauled Voldemort over the side, and let him fall. There was a terrible, keening screech -- then a splash -- then silence.

Percy stared at Pettigrew, who stood before him with a sort of terrified delight on his face. They were both breathless. 'Why?' Percy gasped, once he could manage to speak.

Pettigrew coughed as he began to speak -- his voice had been out of use the entire day. 'Y-you were my master longer than he was... Ten years... and you were always kind to me. Always protected me. Look at you now... all grown up.'

The man edged towards Percy and reached out a gnarled hand to touch his face. Percy flinched reflexively -- Pettigrew looked disappointed, but stepped back.

'Now what do we do?' Percy asked, turning to look down at the water, so much closer than when the sacrifices had begun. The air prickled, and Pettigrew became Wormtail once more. The rat clambered up the wall to check the effect.

[Poll #398773]

The Balloon Master Sez:

On the sea past losers float
While fans of rats and Head Boys gloat.
The first to be autotomized
Was Umbridge, to no great surprise.
Vernon next, Fudge after him,
Then Bella's turn to sink or swim.
Albus had some tricksy friends,
But he was booted in the end.
Lord Voldemort was slippery, but
He, too, failed to make the cut.
Whoever triumphs, our balloon
Will float into the sunset soon,
So cast your ballot just once more;
Be it rat or prat you're rooting for,
Campaigners all, be sure to note
The golden rule: ONE FAN, ONE VOTE!

[EDIT: The final round is closed. Proceed to the conclusion.]

The dread balloon, round VII

Round I: Dolores Umbridge
Round II: Vernon Dursley
Round III: Cornelius Fudge
Round IV: Bellatrix Lestrange
Round V: Albus Dumbledore
Round VI: Lord Voldemort

'Well... this should be very easy,' Lord Voldemort continued, still smiling as he advanced on Percy. 'A Ministry paper-pusher, pitted against the most powerful wizard in existence. I may not have my wand, but we are still two against one.'

Percy went white with horror. 'But-- I-- I helped you! I thought I was doing the right thing!'

Lord Voldemort chuckled, rolling his red eyes. 'Yes,' he hissed, 'they always do...'

Percy backed away as the Dark wizard advanced on him, until he bumped into the basket wall and could go no further. He put up his arm on instinct to shield himself, unable to look-- waiting to be seized and thrown overboard like the others... waiting...

'ARGH! Wormtail, what are you doing!?'

Percy's eyes flew open-- the fat little man had reappeared behind his master, and had him by the neck with his vicious-looking silver hand. Lord Voldemort grasped at his throat, struggling for Pettigrew to release him. 'Let go of me, you--!' His words were cut off with a choke as Pettigrew tightened his grip and began to pull the Dark wizard to the edge of the basket.

'Fool!' said Voldemort in a strangled cry. 'Do you believe drowning can defeat me? If you live, you will regret this betrayal!'

Pettigrew didn't answer, but with a massive effort -- sweating and huffing for breath -- hauled Voldemort over the side, and let him fall. There was a terrible, keening screech -- then a splash -- then silence.

Percy stared at Pettigrew, who stood before him with a sort of terrified delight on his face. They were both breathless. 'Why?' Percy gasped, once he could manage to speak.

Pettigrew coughed as he began to speak -- his voice had been out of use the entire day. 'Y-you were my master longer than he was... Ten years... and you were always kind to me. Always protected me. Look at you now... all grown up.'

The man edged towards Percy and reached out a gnarled hand to touch his face. Percy flinched reflexively -- Pettigrew looked disappointed, but stepped back.

'Now what do we do?' Percy asked, turning to look down at the water, so much closer than when the sacrifices had begun. The air prickled, and Pettigrew became Wormtail once more. The rat clambered up the wall to check the effect.

[Poll #398773]

The Balloon Master Sez:

On the sea past losers float
While fans of rats and Head Boys gloat.
The first to be autotomized
Was Umbridge, to no great surprise.
Vernon next, Fudge after him,
Then Bella's turn to sink or swim.
Albus had some tricksy friends,
But he was booted in the end.
Lord Voldemort was slippery, but
He, too, failed to make the cut.
Whoever triumphs, our balloon
Will float into the sunset soon,
So cast your ballot just once more;
Be it rat or prat you're rooting for,
Campaigners all, be sure to note
The golden rule: ONE FAN, ONE VOTE!

[EDIT: The final round is closed. Proceed to the conclusion.]

Tuesday politics

-NY Times: Eight Soldiers Sue Over Army's Stop-Loss Policy
Or, what we've come to know as the back-door draft -- keeping soldiers in Iraq after their enlistment has run out. Of particular interest since the US army plans to commit even more troops for the Iraqi elections in January.


-AlterNet: Battlefield Earth
Bill Moyers' speech on how those who believe the Rapture is nigh are affecting environmental policy. Recently I've been reading up on how this same group has affected American perception of and action in the Israel/Palestine conflict, and he touches on that too. I'd never considered the issue in regards to the environment, but it makes sense -- if you believe the world is ending soon, why would you act to preserve its future?

I've seen a couple of people -- non-Americans -- link to this and express doubt that it's true. Interesting.

By the way, to save you the googling, here's the Rapture Index.


-Daily Kos: Teen pregnancy in the Red States
Yeah, it's high. We knew that. But as commenters quickly pointed out, the likely root cause is not moral inferiority, but poverty. I found myself reminded of wayfairer's recent post on the South, the essential message of which is that holding the South in contempt is counter-productive and hypocritical on the part of the rest of the nation.

It's interesting how this happens; it seems to be some kind of terrible human nature. Human beings see a group of people doing something wrong, and rather than investigate the circumstances causing it, we call them stupid and immoral -- we hate them. Are a disproportionate number of black Americans in prison because they're inherently criminal, or because they're disproportionately poor? Are the red states suffering disproportionately from particular social problems because the blue states are inherently better, or due to economic and educational factors? Which way of looking at the issue is more likely to produce a solution?


PS. Round VII is still open.

Tuesday politics

-NY Times: Eight Soldiers Sue Over Army's Stop-Loss Policy
Or, what we've come to know as the back-door draft -- keeping soldiers in Iraq after their enlistment has run out. Of particular interest since the US army plans to commit even more troops for the Iraqi elections in January.


-AlterNet: Battlefield Earth
Bill Moyers' speech on how those who believe the Rapture is nigh are affecting environmental policy. Recently I've been reading up on how this same group has affected American perception of and action in the Israel/Palestine conflict, and he touches on that too. I'd never considered the issue in regards to the environment, but it makes sense -- if you believe the world is ending soon, why would you act to preserve its future?

I've seen a couple of people -- non-Americans -- link to this and express doubt that it's true. Interesting.

By the way, to save you the googling, here's the Rapture Index.


-Daily Kos: Teen pregnancy in the Red States
Yeah, it's high. We knew that. But as commenters quickly pointed out, the likely root cause is not moral inferiority, but poverty. I found myself reminded of wayfairer's recent post on the South, the essential message of which is that holding the South in contempt is counter-productive and hypocritical on the part of the rest of the nation.

It's interesting how this happens; it seems to be some kind of terrible human nature. Human beings see a group of people doing something wrong, and rather than investigate the circumstances causing it, we call them stupid and immoral -- we hate them. Are a disproportionate number of black Americans in prison because they're inherently criminal, or because they're disproportionately poor? Are the red states suffering disproportionately from particular social problems because the blue states are inherently better, or due to economic and educational factors? Which way of looking at the issue is more likely to produce a solution?


PS. Round VII is still open.