200 ficlet #7 - Peter & McGonagall

[pauraque_bk]

For maidenjedi, who requested a fic about Peter and McGonagall, just after the boys have mastered the change. (She also wanted it to take place in Transfiguration class, which it originally did, but I re-worked it a few times, and, well... I forgot that was part of the request. So sorry!)

G, gen, 265 words.


Silvestris

It's early for breakfast, but better to be seen there than sneaking back to the dormitory at this hour, so the three of them make their way towards the Great Hall, yawning and rumpled and rubbing their backs. The corridor smells of early-morning mist, of recently extinguished torches.

Peter caught a second wind as they were leaving the Shack, but now he's just tired, sore from the change. His eyes feel dry and gritty; he rubs them with the back of his wrist. He envies Remus, curled up fast asleep.

McGonagall turns the corner ahead of them, heels clicking smartly. James and Sirius hesitate for a moment-- but then, without a word, press on more confidently than before, wearing bland and saintly expressions.

She raises a sceptical eyebrow at them, pausing at the Hall doors. Peter's always been a bit afraid of her, and it's only been getting worse... her eyes make him cold and dreadful deep down in his gut, make him want to duck his head and run, hide in the shadows of the suits of armour along the wall. Green irises rayed like stars, and blackhole pupils wet and gleaming--

Sirius punches him in the arm.

'Quit looking so nervous,' James hisses in his ear on the other side.

McGonagall holds the door for them-- a murmured comment that they're up very early today, aren't they? They head up the aisle, and Peter can still feel her eyes at his back, and it twists him up inside like when he feels the sharp and hungry looks of the caretaker's twin orange cats.

end.


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Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

McGonagall is my favourite female character, and I can't but admire how you capture the very essence of her in so few words: the phrase heels clicking smartly is so perfectly her and so beautifully concise. Peter would be a bit afraid of her. I always picture her as having been even sterner as a young woman, because she felt that she had to keep up the teacher facade.

Peter can still feel her eyes at his back, and it twists him up inside like when he feels the sharp and hungry looks of the caretaker's twin orange cats.

This sentence is so multi-layered, it's brilliant. The rat in Peter would cringe at the sight/thought of cats.

But I've also always felt that fandom in general doesn't do the fact justice that rats are really very intelligent and quite dangerous. This only on a side note, because I am in the mood for random ideas.

[arwencordelia.livejournal.com]

I love that they have this whole interaction, yet neither says a single word to the other.

But, I'm obsessed by the twin orange cats! Who are they? Are they really Filch's cats (where was Mrs. Norris?), or Animagi? Or am I missing something very obvious?

[maidenjedi]

Thanks, Eo!! This is pretty much exactly what I wanted....McGonagall making Peter nervous as heck, with no indication of what he would eventually become. Just Peter dealing with his perpetually guilty conscience (which is what I think is one of his traits that JKR doesn't spell out for us....but that's another discussion, isn't it? :-)

[pauraque]

Sorry to disappoint you, but they're just cats, and yes, they are Filch's. Where was Mrs Norris? A mere twinkle in her father's eye at most, I'd imagine, considering that this is twenty years in the past...

Thanks for your feedback. :)

[pauraque]

Thanks very much! I like McGonagall too, she deserves a much more enthusiastic following.

[pauraque]

Oh good, I'm glad! I wondered if you were hoping all the time for a cat/rat connection... it took me weeks to realize that the connection was there.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

This is fabulous!!! I'm totally in love with Minerva - not least because of a certain RPG where I am she and she is me!!!
she is actually quite a scary character to the pupils and almost Snape-like in some of her retorts.

She raises a sceptical eyebrow at them, pausing at the Hall doors
I really like this and her smartly clicking heels

I don't think much gets past her and you show this wonderfully.


(btw I am going to buy some proper writing paper and will be using it soon. I loved the card!! *hugs*)

[pauraque]

Yay, I'm glad you enjoyed. I often think she's rather Snape-like too, she's just not bitter like he is.

(Yay again! I'm glad the card made it through. Molly Weasley-like, I wasn't sure if I'd put enough stamps on...)