sex is not different

[pauraque_bk]

This is part of a comment I left over at chresimos's place:

[M]ost people (including pro authors) seem to see sexuality as somehow separate from other aspects of life, and erotic feelings as fundamentally different from other emotions/sensations. I see this division as arbitrary and basically false. If you're a writer whose style involves precise and meaningful descriptions of physical sensations, you'll talk about the feeling of a sweater against the skin, the scent of a new sheet of paper, and so on. Now, when your character gets into a sexual situation, why should your writing style change? Why should your approach to the characters' reality change? Shouldn't it be just as right and real to talk about the feeling of your lover's hand on your cock, and the scent of his arousal? Where's the difference?

As a writer, you hope your readers will be right there with your characters, feeling what they feel. When you can describe a sweater in a way that makes your reader feel the comfort and nostalgia the character feels, that's a beautiful and positive thing; it's part of what makes good writing. When that empathy extends to sex, and the reader feels the eroticism of the moment right along with the character, why is that suddenly negative and anti-intellectual?

*

On the word association meme, was I the only one who responded to "sex" with "love"? Of course, I also responded to "dude" with "where's my car?", so it may not be all that meaningful.

*

I'm really rather disappointed that hpbnfdeathmatch has gone missing. I was looking forward to getting the crap kicked out of me by some H/Der I've never heard of. (I actually *was*, is the thing.) Startlingly enough, I've just been friended by bnfwatcher as well. Swear to god, dudes, you're way off. Nobody knows who the hell I am.

Comments

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

Sex and sensuality are intertwined, and it is part of our existence on Earth. A beautiful description of sex should make you smile, or laugh...or make your mouth water.

I think the anti- intellectual arguments comes in when the sex scenes are done by rote, the same old "insert tab a into slot b".It does get wearying after a while, and you feel like you have read the same fic before...because you have.

Am so bitter, am not a bnf!
*sniff*

[pauraque]

Am so bitter, am not a bnf!

I'm sure you're better known than me, at least in Snapledore-aware circles. Aah, it's all bullshit anyway.

[mimine.livejournal.com]

I responded to "sex" with "fun" so really can't help you there. I also responde with "where's my car?" to duude but that was practically asking for it.

You are a BNF in our hearts. Pity we never got a chance to vote for you :-( (though I do think you would have lost)

[pauraque]

Though I was looking forward to being beaten, I think anyone could have stood a chance against someone a lot of people hate, as witness Cedar vs. Cassie Claire. The "ANYONE BUT HER!" backlash can be severe.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, yes, I *so* agree. Emotions are emotions no matter what they are linked to. In my opinion a good writer ( and therefore a good read )should have a style that flows and is consistent throughout a piece whether describing a good meal or a good lay!
Probably this is what draws me to certain authors. It may also be one's own perception of sexuality. Sex/eroticism are to my mind as much a part of life as eating and breathing, we are quite basic animals in some respects.
What is it with the ants by the way??

[pauraque]

Sex/eroticism are to my mind as much a part of life as eating and breathing, we are quite basic animals in some respects.

Yes. From a biological standpoint, reproduction is our primary purpose. Pretending that isn't the case is silly to me.

What is it with the ants by the way??

It's the rainy season here, which means ants get in the house.

[sedesdraconis.livejournal.com]

Swear to god, dudes, you're way off. Nobody knows who the hell I am.

Well, they do know, eo. ;)

[faelori.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously somebody knows. :D

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

I know who you are. And I wuv you!!!

::insert attack of the fuzzy huggles here::

(And did you get my card yet? Hmm?)

And the thing with sex scenes is, yes, they do get can get rather repetitive after a while. And I suppose some authors feel uncomfortable letting people view something that can be seen as an extension of their own sexuality, and their private sexual fantasies. So for some, the smut scenes simply become not done. They may even still be written, but they're not given for public consumption.

And as far as the HPBNF situation goes, here's Fandom Wank's typically hilarious take on that place:

http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/265956.html

And the speculations on who HPBNF might have been, or why they deleted it, are very interesting indeed... bwahahahaha...

[pauraque]

(And did you get my card yet? Hmm?)

I did! I'm afraid we didn't win, but thank you anyway. :)

And I suppose some authors feel uncomfortable letting people view something that can be seen as an extension of their own sexuality, and their private sexual fantasies.

Maybe that's why I don't feel funny about writing sex, because it generally doesn't come from my own fantasies, no more so than any other aspect of a story.

And as far as the HPBNF situation goes, here's Fandom Wank's typically hilarious take on that place:

I was reading that earlier; I think I dropped an anonymous comment somewhere. I don't think it was faith_accompli, myself, though I agree that it seems the person had an agenda that involved Cassie *not* being eliminated. After Cassie's round, the person posted a "reminder" that the first round was for points, not elimination, which isn't what they said at first.

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

I did! I'm afraid we didn't win, but thank you anyway. :)

Good to hear! (Well... not that last part. I really wanted to win!) I still haven't gotten your card though. :( Damn the U.S. Postal Service... I use that address I gave you to all my EBay sellers and they get my items to me. Why they screwed up in this case I have no idea.

I blame Schwarzanegger. Everything's been going downhill in California since he came along.

I don't feel funny about writing sex, because it generally doesn't come from my own fantasies, no more so than any other aspect of a story.

Then you are a fascinatingly unique creature! All I can write is my fantasies made flesh (witness: Transvestite!Ron), which is why I stick to non-fiction stuff.

And dude... you NEED to get an account at Journalfen, so you can post regularly at Fandom Wank (. We'll have so much snarky fun. I'd offer you a code but... ::sob::... I have no idea where mine went. I guess I didn't redeem them on time, or something.

And HPBNF was rigged from the beginning to favor CC. She's such a wank magnet, even when she herself is being perfectly normal. I'm not sure whether to envy or pity her. ;D

[theseventhsun.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...I don't know. I think it really depends on the pacing of the story, and what it's about. I think spending too much time describing a sexual scene, if it's not a romance, or a very romance-tilted section of the story, can alter the rhythm too much the wrong way. The problem is that it's hard to describe sex and be brief about it, in my experience. Some people do just rush through it because they're prudes or uncomfortable with it, but I think a big dilemma is how to describe sex well and not take up multiple pages or drag the story off it's course.

Of course, I haven't thought about it that much, so what do I know. I do like stories that have sex detailed by also have a story, characterization, and realism, but they're kind of rare. Bah...*ends rambling*

[mariagoner.livejournal.com]

I do like stories that have sex

OMG U MANSLUT!

[pauraque]

Sure, the premise that sex is just another aspect of existence goes both ways. There isn't any inherent reason to disinclude it, nor is there any to include it. Any aspect of a story might be lingered over, glossed over quickly, or merely alluded to. Detailed description of a breakfast scene could be fascinating and rich, or it could drag the plot to a halt. Same goes for sex.