pauraque_bk | CoS 7 (Reply)

It seems today is beta reader appreciation day. I, for one, would be lost without my betas. I may have left

bardsmaid's fandom, but I often think back on her wise advice when I'm writing. I don't know what I'd do without

caesia390's tough love and copious red ink. And to

keladryb and

millefiori and

malograntum, and anyone else who's ever worked with me -- thank you.

Never underestimate the importance of a beta. Nobody's good enough that they can't benefit from another pair of eyes.

*

CoS 7: Mudbloods and Murmurs

'I don't really understand Quidditch,' said Colin breathlessly. 'Is it true there are four balls? And two of them fly round trying to knock people off their brooms?'
'Yes,' said Harry heavily, resigned to explaining the complicated rules of Quidditch. 'They're called Bludgers. There are two Beaters on each team[...]' (82-83)

And so on. It's not often that Harry gets to play exposition fairy, though I have to say it reads better than exposition in the narrative.

Marcus was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning on his face[...] (85)

'Very latest model. Only came out last month,' said Flint carelessly, flicking a speck of dust from the end of his [broom]. 'I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Cleansweeps,' he smiled nastily at Fred and George, who were both clutching Cleansweep Fives, 'sweeps the board with them.' (86)

JKR starts off like she's going to stick Marcus in the "big dumb Slytherin" mold; I was surprised to see how intelligent his dialogue is. I thought that was all fanon!

Angelina, Alicia, and Katie had come over, too. There were no girls on the Slytherin team -- who stood, shoulder to shoulder, facing the Gryffindors, leering to a man. (85)

No girls, eh? I guess we're meant to come away with a sense of the Slytherins as sexist, or at least old-fashioned.

'No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood,' he spat.
Harry knew at once that Malfoy had said something really bad because there was an instant uproar at his words. Flint had to dive in front of Malfoy to stop Fred and George jumping on him, Alicia shrieked 'How dare you!' and Ron plunged his hand into his robes, pulled out his wand, yelling, 'You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!' and pointed it furiously under Flint's arm at Malfoy's face. (86-87)

Good to remember just how bad that word is, I think people sometimes use it too lightly. I like the introduction of it here, it seems very age-appropriate -- this is the age when kids are still figuring out what all the bad words are and what they really mean; neither Harry nor Hermione know the meaning of the word until Ron explains.

This is also where Harry first starts to understand the real hatred that exists in the society he's joined, on a larger scale than just interpersonal conflicts at school.

'What happened, Harry? What happened? Is he ill? But you can cure him, can't you?' Colin had run down from his seat and was now dancing alongside them as they left the pitch. Ron gave a huge heave and more slugs dribbled down his front.
'Oooh,' said Colin, fascinated and raising his camera. 'Can you hold him still, Harry?'
'Get out of the way, Colin!' said Harry angrily. (87)

Jeez. He's a right little papparazzo, isn't he?

'Givin' me advice on gettin' kelpies out of a well,' growled Hagrid, moving a half-plucked rooster off his scrubbed table[...] (88)

In mythology, basiliks may be killed by the crowing of a rooster.

[Hermione:] 'I think you're being a bit unfair. Professor Dumbledore obviously thought [Lockhart] was the best man for the job--'
'He was the on'y man for the job,' said Hagrid. [...] 'An' I mean the on'y one. Gettin' very difficult ter find anyone fer the Dark Arts job. People aren't too keen ter take it on, see They're startin' ter think it's jinxed. No one's lasted long fer a while now[...]' (88-89)

Of course, this isn't strictly true -- Snape wants the job badly. My pet theory on why Dumbledore won't give it to him is that he's afraid it would bring out the worst in Snape... though I don't think he realizes the annual rejection is already doing just that.

We already have a pretty good handle on why Lockhart exists on a narrative level, but any thoughts on why, in character terms, Dumbledore chose to hire him? And not Lupin or Moody?

'Oh no -- can't I go and do the trophy room, too?' said Harry desperately.
'Certainly not,' said Professor McGonagall, raising her eyebrows. 'Professor Lockhart requested you particularly[...]' (91)

Because he was trying to show Harry favor. He tells Harry he "musn't expect a treat like this" every time he gets detention.