my life in gafia
Nov. 3rd, 2007 01:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pauraque_bkThere was a thing a long time ago about how if you feel compelled to discuss that you're not in fandom anymore, then you're still in fandom. I'm not sure how often you have to discuss it for this to apply, but I certainly haven't discussed it very often...
My brother is doing very well in school. He still lives with me in the house we inherited from our mom. I feel like we lead very separate lives and don't even talk that often, which is partly because our schedules don't coincide -- I work weekends, he has class M-F -- and partly because we're both introverted and even if we're in the house together, we likely will be doing our own things. Sometimes I think this is okay, and sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not paying enough attention to him.
For work, I found yet another messed up independent retail business, and I'm a manager there. It's actually not as fully messed up as my old retail job, almost everyone seems pretty sane except for my direct boss, who has no brain/mouth filter and is the type of person who sees herself as "brutally honest", when the reality others see is "brutally mean". It sucked at first but I've mostly learned how to deal with her and tune out the nonsense.
The more challenging part was adjusting to the fact that the people I work with actually care whether the business succeeds, and that at the moment it is in fact succeeding. I worked at my old job for 3 years, and it was on a downhill slide the entire time, which had begun years before I was even there. I learned not to care about that, and just to hang on and milk it for however long it lasted or as long as I could stand it, which was what everyone else was doing. It had taken time to adjust to that in the first place... trying to care about the job actually got me in huge amounts of trouble and almost got me fired. It has taken time to learn that if I try to do well, I'll be rewarded and not punished.
Overall my current job is all right, if it really stank I would quit. Probably the most bothering thing is that it's a really small store, and I rarely work with more than one other person in the building, usually my direct boss or one of our two part-time minions. I was used to working with a large group of people, some of whom I didn't get along with but many of whom I liked very much, and could stand around and shoot the shit with. Compared to that, I feel lonely now. I would actually rather be friends with my boss, even though her personality is so off-putting, just so I would have someone to talk to.
Online as you can see I'm not doing fandom, but I'm doing WoW, yeah still. It's been kind of a difficult period. Essentially the progression of the guild I was with stalled out due to poor management and a lot of other dramatic crap, and I went with some folks who split off to form our own guild. I am really, really happy that we left. The person running our new guild now is someone I've wished could be in charge of things for over a year, and the only reason this didn't happen a long time ago was that he took a break from the game at a critical period, and someone else stepped into the power vacuum who shouldn't have.
The point where we split was kind of rough and scary, because we just didn't know how many people would come with us, or how long it would take to recruit back up to the point where we could field a 25-man raid again. Everyone who chose to come with us took a risk by leaving what they had and taking a (hopefully temporary) step backwards in progression, and whenever a guild splits there's always the possibility that both halves fall apart completely. But in this case the risk paid off for us; within a month we *were* back to the same place in progression again, and the remains of the group we left were not.
There was a particular boss that our old group could never get down (Gruul, for expert readers), and the reasons we couldn't had a lot to do with how bad the leadership was, and how dysfunctional their recruitment policies were, so it became somewhat symbolic of everything that was going wrong. Of course, our new guild killed him on our first night of attempts, which was just ridiculously more than any of us expected to accomplish that quickly.
So the morning after this smashing success and total vindication that we *did* know what we were doing, I thought I couldn't possibly have felt any better. Honestly man, I'm not happy very often. I was positively giddy.
And then I got a phone call from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_hannelore (who was also there), telling me the news that Dumbledore is gay.
Yes, I know that this wasn't good news for some people, but I think I was at the precise level of fandom remove to appreciate it to the greatest possible extent. I probably squealed.
So wtf, Gruul is dead, Dumbledore's gay, life's not that bad I guess.
Even though I don't anticipate coming back to fandom, I do think about you guys. Any of you who might still be on LJ and still have me friended for some reason, what have you been up to?
My brother is doing very well in school. He still lives with me in the house we inherited from our mom. I feel like we lead very separate lives and don't even talk that often, which is partly because our schedules don't coincide -- I work weekends, he has class M-F -- and partly because we're both introverted and even if we're in the house together, we likely will be doing our own things. Sometimes I think this is okay, and sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not paying enough attention to him.
For work, I found yet another messed up independent retail business, and I'm a manager there. It's actually not as fully messed up as my old retail job, almost everyone seems pretty sane except for my direct boss, who has no brain/mouth filter and is the type of person who sees herself as "brutally honest", when the reality others see is "brutally mean". It sucked at first but I've mostly learned how to deal with her and tune out the nonsense.
The more challenging part was adjusting to the fact that the people I work with actually care whether the business succeeds, and that at the moment it is in fact succeeding. I worked at my old job for 3 years, and it was on a downhill slide the entire time, which had begun years before I was even there. I learned not to care about that, and just to hang on and milk it for however long it lasted or as long as I could stand it, which was what everyone else was doing. It had taken time to adjust to that in the first place... trying to care about the job actually got me in huge amounts of trouble and almost got me fired. It has taken time to learn that if I try to do well, I'll be rewarded and not punished.
Overall my current job is all right, if it really stank I would quit. Probably the most bothering thing is that it's a really small store, and I rarely work with more than one other person in the building, usually my direct boss or one of our two part-time minions. I was used to working with a large group of people, some of whom I didn't get along with but many of whom I liked very much, and could stand around and shoot the shit with. Compared to that, I feel lonely now. I would actually rather be friends with my boss, even though her personality is so off-putting, just so I would have someone to talk to.
Online as you can see I'm not doing fandom, but I'm doing WoW, yeah still. It's been kind of a difficult period. Essentially the progression of the guild I was with stalled out due to poor management and a lot of other dramatic crap, and I went with some folks who split off to form our own guild. I am really, really happy that we left. The person running our new guild now is someone I've wished could be in charge of things for over a year, and the only reason this didn't happen a long time ago was that he took a break from the game at a critical period, and someone else stepped into the power vacuum who shouldn't have.
The point where we split was kind of rough and scary, because we just didn't know how many people would come with us, or how long it would take to recruit back up to the point where we could field a 25-man raid again. Everyone who chose to come with us took a risk by leaving what they had and taking a (hopefully temporary) step backwards in progression, and whenever a guild splits there's always the possibility that both halves fall apart completely. But in this case the risk paid off for us; within a month we *were* back to the same place in progression again, and the remains of the group we left were not.
There was a particular boss that our old group could never get down (Gruul, for expert readers), and the reasons we couldn't had a lot to do with how bad the leadership was, and how dysfunctional their recruitment policies were, so it became somewhat symbolic of everything that was going wrong. Of course, our new guild killed him on our first night of attempts, which was just ridiculously more than any of us expected to accomplish that quickly.
So the morning after this smashing success and total vindication that we *did* know what we were doing, I thought I couldn't possibly have felt any better. Honestly man, I'm not happy very often. I was positively giddy.
And then I got a phone call from
_hannelore (who was also there), telling me the news that Dumbledore is gay.Yes, I know that this wasn't good news for some people, but I think I was at the precise level of fandom remove to appreciate it to the greatest possible extent. I probably squealed.
So wtf, Gruul is dead, Dumbledore's gay, life's not that bad I guess.
Even though I don't anticipate coming back to fandom, I do think about you guys. Any of you who might still be on LJ and still have me friended for some reason, what have you been up to?
