Ethics....... that word really isn't in my vocabulary. Right and wrong... I don't operate so much on a gray-scale as a RGB spectrum. It's part of the reason why Lupin gives me so much trouble. His actions bother me because they cause pain for others whom I sympathize with, but from his own point of view... They make sense.
My sense of failure... I hate depending on people. I hate being a nuisance. I get so annoyed at other people; I just apply that same lack of consideration to others. >:} And the fact that, as an INTP, I'm so detached and analytical I rarely give any kind of shit about what others deem important (eg, college degree) except on a purely intellectual level... But then when I do care about something (*coughfictionalwerewolves*) I'm absolutely obsessed... And that in itself carries a sense of failure. What impact, after all, does a fictional werewolf really have on my life??? Am I just seeking an escape from my real responsibilities? And why are they my responsibilities, anyway? What can I learn from myself in this situation? How can I apply it to my future??? And depending on my mood, I emerge blithe and fancy-free or.... quivering in a lump of fear at the afore-mentioned impeding doom....
Life. Gotta love it. :} So when I've worked myself into a state of depression, flipping burgers for a living, and am forced to survive once more on the guilt-purchased charity of my parents... you can tell me I followed my heart? :}
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Date: 2004-03-22 12:53 pm (UTC)Ethics....... that word really isn't in my vocabulary. Right and wrong... I don't operate so much on a gray-scale as a RGB spectrum. It's part of the reason why Lupin gives me so much trouble. His actions bother me because they cause pain for others whom I sympathize with, but from his own point of view... They make sense.
My sense of failure... I hate depending on people. I hate being a nuisance. I get so annoyed at other people; I just apply that same lack of consideration to others. >:} And the fact that, as an INTP, I'm so detached and analytical I rarely give any kind of shit about what others deem important (eg, college degree) except on a purely intellectual level... But then when I do care about something (*coughfictionalwerewolves*) I'm absolutely obsessed... And that in itself carries a sense of failure. What impact, after all, does a fictional werewolf really have on my life??? Am I just seeking an escape from my real responsibilities? And why are they my responsibilities, anyway? What can I learn from myself in this situation? How can I apply it to my future??? And depending on my mood, I emerge blithe and fancy-free or.... quivering in a lump of fear at the afore-mentioned impeding doom....
Life. Gotta love it. :} So when I've worked myself into a state of depression, flipping burgers for a living, and am forced to survive once more on the guilt-purchased charity of my parents... you can tell me I followed my heart? :}