Icon ficlet #5

[pauraque_bk]

For _hannelore, who requested a Peter/Neville fic based on this icon. This was as close as I could get. The icon actually represents my preferred West Wing canon ship.


Aquarium

Neville crouched to place Trevor down on the dark wet earth by the edge of the lake where it was shallow. He watched him stretch his long-hinged legs to push himself out into the water.

'Don't go too far,' Neville said quietly, putting his hands back and sitting down in the grass. He watched the toad swim in the night-black water, and listened to the cricket-song. He let his hand dangle in the water until the shimmering golden fishes swam up to place their tiny suction-kisses on his fingertips.

Then, a rustle in the grass, a slither of dark movement. Neville froze, certain it was a snake-- but no. The naked tail of a fat grey rat, and the green reflection of round eyes. Scabbers slinked up cautiously, sniffing, backing up, then pressing forward again, bristly whiskers on end.

'What're you doing all the way out here?' Neville murmured, and offered his hand, the one that hadn't been in the water. Scabbers seemed to know him then, and jumped up into Neville's lap. Neville started at the unfamiliar feeling of little star-clawed paws pressing into his thigh. The rat crawled up Neville's leg and sniffed around his trouser pocket, probably after the half-eaten chocolate bar Neville had left there. Neville picked him up carefully-- his body was soft and squashy; his hard tail whipped against Neville's wrist-- and placed him down on the ground again.

Scabbers ruffled his fur indignantly and then smoothed it out again, making Neville smile. The rat crept over to the edge of the water to peer at the golden fishes still nibbling at the surface. Neville rested his face in his palm, and for a while they watched the fish together. Neville thought about those fish in their aquarium world, kept and admired by giants they could never really see.

There was a ripple a few feet out, and Neville looked, thinking it might be Trevor coming back again. When he glanced away, there was a flicker and a wild splash, and Scabbers emerged with the whole front part of him dripping wet, and a twitching golden fish impaled on his incisors.

Neville let out a yelp that echoed in the darkness, and the rat darted away into the brush with his prize.

It was only then that Neville noticed the little smears of blood on his fingers.

A long time would pass before he saw the rat again.

end.


Please let me know what you think. chresimos is next.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

He let his hand dangle in the water until the shimmering golden fishes swam up to place their tiny suction-kisses on his fingertips. This reminds me of swimming in the river and the minnows with their little "kisses."

Such a calm scene to be interrupted by violence and with Neville only noticing the blood afterwards.

Thank you!

[pauraque]

You're welcome, and thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :D

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Ack, what an ominous final line. Loved it, loved it.

[pauraque]

Thank you! :)

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

Nice. The impression is very vivid: I can really clearly see the black lake and the little fishes under it. As with the other story about Padfoot, you describe the actions of the animal particularly well. And Neville comes across as extremely cute, taking Trevor down to the lake for a swim. :)

[pauraque]

Animals are really much easier to deal with than humans. Thanks. :)

[ntamara.livejournal.com]

oh, very, very nice (and creepy!)

the little details, and just the idea of Neville taking Trevor out for a swim in the lake :)

good one!

[pauraque]

Thanks!

And hey, what's that icon from?

[ntamara.livejournal.com]

the icon is by iamfez, and was posted on hp_icons a while back (with similar ones for all the marauders)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I love your writing. Everything is so quiet and subtle, and yet vivid in its presence.

I like the non-pairing, too. This is more evocative.

[pauraque]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

You are always fascinating on the subject of Peter -- just the way you think about who he is, what his experience must have been like during his time away from being human. I wondered at first if this was Post-POA but I don't imagine Neville would have been so passive about Peter if he were on the run. So it's just another side of Peter -- his ratness, his essential feralness even while he's mostly living as Ron's pet. Is this a restlessness, a residual craving for autonomy and action? Or just an appetite for blood that belies his apparently passive and obsequious appearance? No answers in the story, I guess, but it shakes up the received idea of Scabbers in provocative ways.

[pauraque]

Interesting thoughts. Thank you.

[switchknife.livejournal.com]

The hurt of this catches up with you. Insidious and beautiful.

Sequel? The last line begs for it.

[pauraque]

Thank you! Maybe a sequel, if I can think of a way to do it...

[fernwithy.livejournal.com]

Really wonderful writing here... I love the imagery of the scene, and the affection Neville shows to both animals. I also like Peter's last ditch attempt to make some connection to someone, contrasted with his catching of the fish which Neville has been watching with such love.

You write Neville well.

[pauraque]

Thank you very much. That's something that always struck me about Peter, the way he tries to connect but it ends up going wrong.