Hey, guys?

[pauraque_bk]

Some of you may not know this, so I thought I'd make it a bit clearer. I work full-time, and am acting as a single parent to my 16-year-old brother, who is mildly autistic. Our mother died in August, and as anyone knows who's lost a close relative, it takes a lot of time and mental space to deal with the aftermath.

Despite my regular online presence, I don't have unlimited time to spend on fandom and other projects. I get behind on email and comments. I miss posts. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get things done. Sometimes I get tired and upset for non-evident reasons.

None of this means I don't love you guys. It just means that when you wish I would get to this or that, you need to cut me a little slack. Likewise, if I am occasionally not my usual chipper self? Slack.

Also, I don't really talk about my real life on LJ, but I'm not secretive. If you want to talk to me about something, IM or email. Both are on my userinfo.

♥

Comments

[norah.livejournal.com]

*snugs*

Let me know if you ever need the blanket fort. It is members-only but we will let you in and keep the outside world out. All you have to do is open up the IM and yell "SANCTUARY" and we will grant asylum.

[pauraque]

*snuggles you mightily*

<3 <3 <3

[deslea.livejournal.com]

I know the whole "sometimes things don't get done, sometimes things don't happen" deal. Friends who can understand that are worth their weight in gold. ♥ you

[pauraque]

I ♥ you too.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

You sound like A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

And, smooches to yooches. I don't think anyone expects you (or anyone else) to cater fulltime to their needs. And if they do, they are poopyheads.

[pauraque]

You sound like A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

My mom read that book, and tried to get me to read it, but she was unsuccessful. What's it about, again?

The fellow who wrote it, incidentally, lives very close to me.

*loves*

[caesia390.livejournal.com]

darling, you may unleash your moods on me anytime. :}

Have some imaginary apple pie. Or better yet, real apple pie, and feel better. Does your brother like apple pie? I suggest some sort of shared dessert pronto. :}

I also offer my admittedly-limited ass-kicking services for anyone who needs it. *rolls up sleeves*

Re: *loves*

[pauraque]

I first read that as "ass-licking", and that was just strange.

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

Have people been badgering you? :| Because I own a baseball bat, you know.

You are doing a good job with your life, okay? I hope you don't think you aren't.

[starpaint.livejournal.com]

Blah.

I wish I had a better way to put this. Condolences are just a bit late, support/hugs/etc. are rather useless from someone who barely knows you... maybe appreciated, but what do I know? I wish I could do something else. You're in a hard position, and it sucks.

None of this helps much.

=(

I hope that things work out for you in the long run. Or something.

[pauraque]

Thank you. A *lot* of people have friended me recently, and I figured probably most of them didn't read that far back... I just wanted people to know the situation.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

*big hug*

You're a champ. Certainly not a chump.

[pauraque]

But am I a chimp, is the question. *examines DNA*

[gmth.livejournal.com]

I think you're awesome. I need to tell you that more often.

[pauraque]

Bah, me? *blush*

[cschick.livejournal.com]

I don't remember why or when I friended you, but you're a fascinating and wonderful person. Your read-throughs of HP are wonderful--especially for someone like me, who's not into the fandom but thinks the books are a good read. Keep doing what you're doing, at whatever pace your life allows you, and I'll be happy :)

I wish you luck with your brother, especially having dealt with autistic and otherwise disabled children myself as a volunteer. And, recalling some angsty yet humorous posts about your work, I wish you luck there too. I've come to conclude that the working world is something we are fooled with as children. We want to grow up, because we somehow become convinced it's better than what childhood is.

I wanna go back and be a kid in school again! ;)

(Post brought to you by beer and Mexican food.)

[pauraque]

My childhood was pretty miserable, so I don't want it back, exactly... but I miss the relative lack of responsibility. Not to mention the shorter workdays!

[jheaton.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I lost my mother a few years ago, so I completely understand what you're going through. If I ever appear to be failing to cut you slack, please don't hesitate to tell me to go fuck myself.

[pauraque]

I doubt I'd ever say that, but thank you. And my sympathies.

[spican.livejournal.com]

Not being a new kid on the block, I'm probably not in the immediate target group for this entry, but I still feel this overwhelming compulsion to chime in with a {{{{{hug}}}}}}. You wow me on a regular basis, you know, with your resourcefulness and talent, your generosity and kindness. You're really one of the most amazing people I know. And if you need to catch your breath at intervals, that's ever so understandable.

[pauraque]

Thankyou. People are being too nice! It's getting embarrassing! *hides*

[scarah2.livejournal.com]

<3333333

What do you mean? All that, and such enjoyable lj posts for us to enjoy like enjoyers of enjoyable things.

I think you are a very generous contributor to the world.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Hi--I've just been greatly enjoying the recent discussions on your lj so just wanted to say thanks! Here you have a lot of responsibilities off-line and you're also providing me with a lot of reading pleasure.

There are a couple of people on my flist who are also parents of autistic kids (one of whom is a single parent). You probably already have contacts of people in the same situation but I thought I'd mention it in case having an lj-er with experience is something you'd ever want to have.

[pauraque]

Well, sure, it never hurts to have more contacts.

[(Anonymous)]

Another anonymous post, just to let you know I'm still here...;-)

Sometimes it takes hearing about the challenges that another person is facing to put my own problems in perspective; I know that your situation is a tough one, and I hope and pray that everything will be OK.

So...please know once again that there are a lot of us out here thinking about you and your brother, and hoping that both of you are doing well. And in reality, that's what should come first.

I also know what you mean about online commitments, even though I only have a fraction of yours, and no one breathing down my neck; recently, I've been caught up enough in the ZBB and other online activities that it's seriously cut into some more urgent (and in the long run, more important) commitments in my life. Sometimes I need to learn to put first things first...

***
With regard to cschick's comment, one of my favorite quotations is from the comic strip Calvin & Hobbes, from Calvin's dad: "I don't think I would have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known that the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed." :-) I think that this applies to a lot of us.

p@,
Glenn

You have to got be...

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

It just means that when you wish I would get to this or that, you need to cut me a little slack. Likewise, if I am occasionally not my usual chipper self? Slack.

I am..I don't know what to say. Wait a minute, yes I do.

Fandom will be here in all it's twistedness whenenver you want to jump back in. But your life is much more interesting and importantly then yet another discussion of the Shrieking Shack incident. No, it really is.

<3

Re: You have to got be...

[pauraque]

I'm not going away from fandom. Fandom's the only thing keeping me sane! I'm sorry if that seemed like a 'goodbye'... it really wasn't.

[eponis.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: Love you, dear. I'm so sorry that other people are adding to your stress.

[alchemia.livejournal.com]

you know theres a number of autism support comms on the net if you haven't looked into that yet. If your brother is high functionign enough also, there are comms for persons ont he spectrum he might enjoy. If you need links on either, LMK.

[pauraque]

I would like some links, actually, if you have them handy. I know he feels bad about himself for his disability; maybe interacting with others like himself would be helpful. He is high-functioning, and I know he talks to people online (about computer programming, mostly).

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

{{{you}}} RL must take precedence. We'll all still be here when you need us!

[pauraque]

But I'm not going anywhere!

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

I think you're a great person. Anyone who has enough love to care for their siblings is a great person in my book.

~webbapettigrew, who has an autistic son and can sympathize.

[cruisedirector]

I don't know you very well but just wanted to say you're great, you do what you need to do, and I enjoy reading your posts whether they're on my favorite subjects or not.

[phantomas.livejournal.com]

hi there :)

I friended you recently because I really like your posts, but I am mostly a lurker..however...you deserve a big hug for all that is going on in your life, and yes, fandom and fandom activities are just a small part of it, after all.

*big hug*

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

*hugs Eo*

Life comes first. Always. We'll be here! And anyone demanding anything of you is being kind of dumb.

[lolaraincoat.livejournal.com]

I know you know I know about your situation, and I know you're not leaving or anything, and I hope I've not been pestering you about anything, but now seems like a good time to say this:

You are terrific. The world should take care of you as well as you take care of the world. Things don't always balance out that way (and they hardly ever do over the short run) but you put so much out there and you really deserve to get just as much back. If all you need right now is slack, I hope fandom collectively can provide you with some of that!

[pauraque]

Too... nice...! *hides in embarrassment*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I didn't know about the brother being mildly autistic, but I was aware of the rest.

Frankly, I'm amazed that you're still accomplishing the fandom projects that you do!

And I've been thinking of you, and if there's something I can do (want a Mean Skulls or a Chinese-dragon bandana? I'm sending them out to other lj friends) just let me know.

[pauraque]

Oh, you don't have to give me anything! ...but, gee, a dragon bandana *would* be kind of nice. I mean, if you're giving them out anyway...

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Not to add to the embarassment factor, but...thanks for sharing. *reels out slack*