filk: "All That Slash"

[pauraque_bk]

With apologies to kragey, who inadvertently set me off on this.

ALL THAT SLASH
(to the tune of "All That Jazz" from Chicago)

Years ago,
They paired up Kirk and Spock
And called it slash

Those first K/Sers,
Mightn't they be shocked
At all this slash?

The X-Files' writers
Got the shippers pissed
When Mulder and Krycek
Really, truly kissed
Oh, that canon UST!
It only fanned the lust
Of fans of slash

Look at Spike and Angel,
Then there's Clark and Lex--
You see the slash?

Check out Josh and Sam,
That look's just screaming sex!
They should be slashed!

How 'bout LotRiPS?
Aren't those actors hot!
We know they're really gay
(Though P.R. claims they're not)
It may be slander, but
It makes for lovely smut
In all that slash

Kink! Squick! Whoopee!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

From Hutch and Starsky
Down to Vic and Mac,
They all get slashed

Holmes and Watson,
Will and Captain Jack--
Oh, *they* get slashed!

Come on, gang,
We're gonna do HP
Let's see the Boy Who Lived
Lose his virginity!
Everyone's had that kid
(Even the giant squid)
In all that slash

Ohhhhh I'm bored of Snarry, H/D, and the rest,
Sooooo I joined the Lucius/Hagrid Fuh-Q-Fest!

Whored 'em in heels and a girdle,
Oh, Ms Rowling's blood'll curdle
If she hears
We made them queers
In all that slash

All that slash!

Years ago,
They paired up Kirk and Spock
And called it slash

Now all we know
Is if it's got a cock,
It should be slashed!

Don't need reasons
If the pairing tickles--
Even slash the Bible
If it gives you giggles
It may knock folks flat,
But nothing's wrong with that!
It's good clean slash

The pairings may be random,
But ohhhh! I love net fandom!
And all that slaaaaaaaash!

That slash!