"what?!?" bombs
Sep. 16th, 2008 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pauraque_bkSometimes Dan Savage talks nonsense, however:
There the guy was, boned for you, and he was brave enough to put his desires out there, to make himself vulnerable (which is what the ladies are always saying they want, right?), and you lobbed the ol' "What?!?" bomb at him and made him feel like a freak.
...
You're not the only person whose first reaction to an unexpected request is "What?!?" Many of us feel obliged—even the sexually adventurous among us—to go on the record with slight-to-mild-to-royal shock when a new partner presents us with a request for something besides the standard-issue sex organ stuffed in the standard-issue orifice. Our shock—real, feigned, or exaggerated—allows us to establish our moral superiority while placing the other person in a weaker position. It forces the other person to acknowledge that he or she is the bigger pervert and that we, by even contemplating indulging his or her kinks, are doing that person a favor. Tragically for all involved, most people on the receiving end of a "What?!?" emerge less likely to share their kinks with future sex partners, resulting in less interesting sex lives for all.
Mhm.
There the guy was, boned for you, and he was brave enough to put his desires out there, to make himself vulnerable (which is what the ladies are always saying they want, right?), and you lobbed the ol' "What?!?" bomb at him and made him feel like a freak.
...
You're not the only person whose first reaction to an unexpected request is "What?!?" Many of us feel obliged—even the sexually adventurous among us—to go on the record with slight-to-mild-to-royal shock when a new partner presents us with a request for something besides the standard-issue sex organ stuffed in the standard-issue orifice. Our shock—real, feigned, or exaggerated—allows us to establish our moral superiority while placing the other person in a weaker position. It forces the other person to acknowledge that he or she is the bigger pervert and that we, by even contemplating indulging his or her kinks, are doing that person a favor. Tragically for all involved, most people on the receiving end of a "What?!?" emerge less likely to share their kinks with future sex partners, resulting in less interesting sex lives for all.
Mhm.
