Icon ficlet #4

[pauraque_bk]

For dragonessasmith, who requested a fic based on this icon. The actor is Tim Spall, who of course will be playing Peter in the PoA movie.

336 words, PG for language and innuendo.


Screwball Comedy

He wakes up to a strange pounding noise, and the thick taste of stale wine coating his tongue. His right hand is numb and starting to tingle where it's pinned under his hip. He buries his face harder in the pillow.

The pounding again--

Muffled: 'Peter? You in there? It's James!'

Peter's head jerks up, and he's suddenly aware that he's lying there with no blankets, bare-arsed-- It's the *door*, idiot.

'Fuck,' he bleats, scrambling out of bed. He snatches up the sport magazine lying open next to him; the pages stick to his fingers when he picks it up. He grunts in disgust and shoves it under the mattress.

'Peter!'

'Shit, shit,' he says fretfully, hurrying through the tiny flat and pulling on his trousers with nothing underneath, re-buttoning the same sweat-stained shirt from yesterday.

He stops short before he gets to the door, something's caught his eye-- On the floor, the white mask where he let it fall last night, near a puddle of black cloak. He makes a noise of dismay and kicks it under the chair before going on.

'Peter! I know you're in there, I can hear you banging around.'

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob, tries to get his breath back, swallows. Then yanks it open, and James's hand is poised to knock again.

'Oh,' James says. 'There you are.' He pulls back his fist and rubs it with his other hand. There are bruise-grey smudges under his eyes.

Peter tries to cover over the way his face falls when he sees Lily standing beside him, her hair limp and dark, holding a bundle of something squirming in a blanket.

'Oh,' Peter says.

'Listen,' says James. 'Can we come in? I've-- We've got to talk to you.'

'To me,' Peter echoes, and some kind of dreadful excitement starts brewing in his gut, hot and cold at the same time. He restrains the urge to glance back to make sure the white mask can't be seen under the armchair.

end.


Feedback is always appreciated. _hannelore is next, putting her at the front of both the fic queue and the icon queue. That's just how special she is. :)

Comments

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

That was really good--for being only 350 or so words, it really takes one's breath away!

[pauraque]

Thanks!

I hope your convention presentation is coming along well.

[millefiori.livejournal.com]

Oooh, very chilling! For some reason it never occurred to me that Peter might've joined Voldemort *before* he was made secret-keeper, which was an interesting twist. I also liked (well, maybe not 'liked' -- how about was impressed by) the seedy and shameful air Peter had about him. His choice may have saved his life, but it's bringing him no joy.

[pauraque]

Thank you. Yes, 'seedy' was what I was going for. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

The way you let a scene unfold in so few words, it's wonderful. The distraught James and Lily is interesting, moreso than the usual picture-perfect pair. Great sketch of Peter, in a morning moment.

And thank you... can't wait to see both. *hugs*

[pauraque]

Thanks. *hugs*

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

I'm really enjoying these. I like the details in this, like Then yanks it open, and James's hand is poised to knock again....Peter tries to cover over the way his face falls when he sees Lily standing beside him, her hair limp and dark, holding a bundle of something squirming in a blanket. It's a really little thing, but saying 'limp and dark' is not something you'd expect of Lily's hair, and it gives quite an interesting image. Just like 'something squirming in a blanket' gives a much different impression to the more usual 'a squirming bundle'. The same in the first paragraph, where instead of just saying 'hangover' you get it across in a roundabout way, and it's very vivid. And the sticky magazine. Eeew.

Also, I really see this Peter as the Peter in your icon. Hee.

[pauraque]

Also, I really see this Peter as the Peter in your icon.

Yes, he does look seedy enough there! Thank you.

meep.

[dragonessasmith.livejournal.com]

0.o

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou-

*breath*

Thank you! Oh wow, I can't believe how you did this in so few words-you tore out my heart! (but in a good way.)

Gah. That was awesome. Thank you so much again!

Re: meep.

[pauraque]

You're welcome! And thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

these fics just get better, hte mask, the Potters etc, brilliant.
love the description of Peter, dirty, manky, twisted thing! - especially the magazine!

[pauraque]

Thanks. :)

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

I love that icon (have you seen the episode of Red Dwarf with Tim Spall's cameo?) and I love this fic.

[pauraque]

Thank you! And no, I haven't watched Red Dwarf, though I am a fan of Spall from films.