celebrating 11 and a half years of the fandom I said I'd never join

[pauraque_bk]

Mixed feelings about hp_reunion, since so many of us are still here and have no need to be reunited! But I realize for many people HP fandom is now a long-ago memory and a reunion makes sense. I guess we should be glad it's stuck around long enough for that to happen.

Either way, today seems to be the day people are recreating or pointing to their first post in the fandom. Mine seems to have been on a mailing list called HP Improv.

But then! My friends from X-Files fandom persuaded me to get an LJ, which I had previously said I would never do. At the tender age of 20, I was already a stodgy old-timer who'd been in fandom for years, and I was sure this newfangled LiveJournal thing would never catch on. Online diaries were for high school drama, not Serious Fandom Business. Usenet and mailing lists forever! (Not sure whether to laugh or cry here.)

At last I caved and joined the 21st century, and broke the champagne bottle on my LJ's bow by reposting my very first HP fic, which I'm pleased to say is not embarrassingly bad. (Fortunately I was only new to Harry Potter, definitely not new to writing.)

And here's the post: May 6, 2003.

Notable things:

• I was still using my fandom moniker from my mailing list days. Why isn't my LJ called eodrakken, then? Because I didn't understand yet that my LJ name would be what people would call me. I thought it was more like an email address, and that people would call me whatever I put in the author field of my fics. (But yes, I'm good with being called pauraque now.)


• I used an "archive" field! That was actually a thing on mailing lists and I did not know it wasn't a thing on LJ. It meant that I didn't want people taking my fic from the mailing list and posting it on their own fic archive sites without asking, which sounds completely nuts now, but was actually a normal part of fandom then.


• I liked Draco! I never really stopped liking Draco, but I did fall into a crowd for whom he was not a liked character, so I sort of lost interest in him.


• Aw, the first comment I ever got on LJ was from someone who's still a dear friend (though going by another name online now). That makes me so happy.


• Very obvious that I wasn't new to fandom as I already had people showing up and making silly inside jokes from the XF mailing lists. ♥ But I think I started friending HP people really quickly after that.

This entry was originally posted at http://pauraque.dreamwidth.org/47840.html. Comment here or there.

Comments

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

Oh geez, mailing lists, now you've really thrown me into full blown nostalgia mode. Now I only need to find out there was an alt.rec.harry-potter on Usenet and my day will be complete!

[pauraque]

I don't know if there was or not, though I wouldn't be surprised. It was still the 90s when the books started, after all. I do know there were some very active HP mailing lists before the fandom largely migrated to LJ, but in that early part of HP I was still mostly doing X-Files (on MLs) and Star Trek (on Usenet).

Where were you hanging out in the olden days?

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

In the olden days of the 90's, it was a mix of furry fandom (yeah, yeah, I know but the fandom treats artists like gold and the stuff can be fun to draw)alt.rec.farscape(which is where I started reading slash), and on a personal mailing list I ran for my art.

[pauraque]

You know, looking at your skill and style in drawing animals, I actually have wondered if you might have spent time in furry fandom, but I didn't want to ask for fear of offending. I used to hang out there myself (MLs, Usenet, MUCKs) and made some great longtime friends. It's just like any fandom, really -- if you stay away from the assholes and (bad kind of) weirdos, it's an awesome community!

[akatnamedeaster.livejournal.com]

It's funny that you were worried about offending me, since I'm always worried about people giving me the side-eye if I mention it. But yes, a lot of people don't get that it's just like any other fandom, mostly cool people mixed with some nuts and scary weirdos.

I went to cons, never got into mucking though since I could never get the hang of it, did a lot of art and was getting close to BNF-hood when I started to lose interest. Do still miss some of the people though. The cons were a hoot and I always made a bundle and had a really great time.

[pauraque]

I never actually made it to a furry con but I did go to a bunch of smaller meetups (sometimes furry events within a larger sci-fi con or something) and I had such a blast with those folks. Super welcoming and fun. I think the only reason I drifted away was that I'd gotten more into X-Files and it started to take up most of my online time.

[inell.livejournal.com]

I lurked in HP the last couple of years during RL drama and writer's block, but I didn't participate at all during that time. I still considered myself part of HP, though. With the reunion, it's nice seeing old friends but I'm also using it as a way to make new friends. BTW....uh hi? I friended you! I see your name around and thought why not?

[pauraque]

I didn't stay solidly in the fandom for the whole 11 years -- there were a couple years in there where I was almost completely out of it because I was focusing on other things and there's only so many hours in the day -- but I'm definitely back now and it still feels like "my" fandom even though many of the faces have changed.

Friended back! I've seen you around too and I do like making new friends. :) I think in some ways the shrinking of the fandom has been a good thing in that it's encouraging people to meet new folks rather than stick with the same friends list for years on end.

[thimble-kiss.livejournal.com]

I still remember reading that story and loving it despite having no freaking clue about anyone in it! :D And I'm all confused now because I could have sworn on a holy book that you were on LJ years before me. (I guess I just tend to forget that I was on LJ for that long before joining HP fandom; XF still feels like all Usenet and mailing lists in my head.)

[pauraque]

No way, I only joined LJ because nearly everyone I was ever friends with in XF had already joined! The peer pressure eventually overwhelmed my stick-in-the-mudness.

When did you start posting HP stuff? I remember being excited that you were, but not exactly when it happened.

[thimble-kiss.livejournal.com]

I do remember, when I think more carefully about the sequence of things. You and Susan were digging your heels in. I think Susan joined not so long after you; she was the last holdout. :) I posted my first two fics just past New Year in 2006. I remember it clearly because my dad had passed just the previous autumn, and while it was a terrible time on a RL level, I was still super excited and happy to be inspired to write again in a new fandom. You were just drifting into a fandom semi-hiatus about that time, I think, but I remember you and Muridae helping me out with beta over the holidays, and how absolutely stoked I was to get your approval on the first draft I sent you. ♥

[pauraque]

Yeah, that sounds right. Susan was like me, she wasn't much for the latest new gadgets. Her being here definitely made me feel more at home, though. What a shame it would have been to lose touch with her back when the mailing lists were fading away.

Right, you started getting into HP around the time I was starting to need a break from it. In a way it doesn't surprise me that you were writing more after your dad's passing; I remember after my mom died I sort of channeled everything I was feeling into being really prolific in fandom for a while.

Is muridae_x still around at all? She's never been one to post a lot but I know that doesn't always mean she's not lurking.

[thimble-kiss.livejournal.com]

Yeah, creativity can be a good and fairly constructive diversion for misery. I actually think it helped me a lot at that time. Viktor/Hermione was just the perfect pairing for me at that moment, too. I always struggled to keep Krycek mean enough, and it was a relief to be able to write something more gentle and in a fandom that's probably more of a natural fit to me as a writer.

Muridae is still around, yes. Work and other RL stuff pretty much swallowed her whole for a while, but she still comments regularly when I post. And she's been lovely enough to step up and do beta every time I emailed about a new fic, though that's beginning to be a while ago, now.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

I remember that fic! You write a lovely Draco, that story was very memorable, I love the line from Narcissa wishing they'd be better about their indiscretions.

I also remember the post where people made guesses at how to pronounce "pauraque." That was fun. :)

[pauraque]

Just the other day a notable fandom personality misspelled my name. As always, it was an honor. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

pooraquay! ;)

[who_la_hoop]

I think my first fandom interaction was on a Buffy mailing list back in, omg, maybe 1998? Very pleased to say I have none of that saved! It was mostly a discussion list though; I don't remember anyone ever mentioning fic or art, or I'd have been in fandom properly a lot earlier, I think!

It's so fun to look back :)

[pauraque]

I don't remember my first actual interactions in online fandom. I started lurking and reading on X-Files and Star Trek mailing lists and newsgroups in the mid-90s, but I was soooooo shy back then, I was afraid to post! Probably my first baby steps consisted of emailing feedback to fic writers (feedback by email... imagine that) so they're lost in the digital aether.

It might be for the best that I lurked for so long, considering that I was often ignoring those "not for readers under 18" warnings on slash fics... :)

[who_la_hoop]

See, back when I was on the Buffy mailing list, I didn't have the internet at my house(!) but my dad had it at his, where I spent weekends, so I remember him printing out emails for me to read as dial-up, and staying online, was so expensive XD Crazy!

I think one of the first comments on a fic I actually left was emailing Tira Nog after reading A Nick In Time. She never emailed back! Clearly, it didn't scar me, though, haha.

I was over 18 by the time I discovered fic, so I never had to lie about that! I do remember buying erotica from the bookstore though at under eighteen... The world is a much better place for having Amazon and home delivery(!)

[pauraque]

Oh yes, I remember dial-up being charged by the minute. Not to mention if you stayed online you couldn't use the telephone! I was definitely printing out fics to read in those days.

I had a RL classmate who was savvy in the ways of the internet, so I knew where to find the juicy stuff a couple of years before I was legally allowed. Mostly stuck to text, though, because if you wanted to look at dirty pictures you'd be waiting all day for them to load and would probably have lost the mood by then...