snapes I have known

[pauraque_bk]

All the recent talk about fanon!Snape varieties has inspired me to do some cartooning. I should clean it up and make a Snapes Of The World poster. In the meantime, I've made it into a quiz instead. To be taken with a shaker of salt, of course.



You are an Orthodox Snapeist.

You take Canon!Snape at face value -- like JKR
says, Snape is "a deeply horrible
person". You like to write/read stories
where he's portrayed as supercilious, unfair,
often undignified, and sometimes downright
cruel. You may accept some partial
explanations for his behavior when they're
offered in canon, but you're still pretty hard
on him, and don't like to let him off the hook.
The guy's a nasty, unwashed git -- it says so
in the books!


What kind of Snapeist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Oh, and a GIP. General idea stolen from caesia390. My my, a GIP and a quiz in the same post -- I'm becoming quite the little LJ-er now...

Comments

[threeoranges.livejournal.com]

I got Orthodox!Snape too, a judgement with which I wholeheartedly concur, though if one wants to write this character in any kind of relationship one has to let tiny glimpses of Conservative!Snape/Reform!Snape shine through to make it even remotely believable.

[pauraque]

if one wants to write this character in any kind of relationship one has to let tiny glimpses of Conservative!Snape/Reform!Snape shine through to make it even remotely believable

It would be interesting to test this theory and try to write canon!Snape in a relationship, as strictly true to JKR's portrayal of the character as possible. I can *almost* see JKR doing it as a comedic subplot (probably pairing him with someone just as horrible as he is), but an enterprising fan writer might be able to pull it off in a more interesting way than that.

[threeoranges.livejournal.com]

It would be interesting to test this theory and try to write canon!Snape in a relationship, as strictly true to JKR's portrayal of the character as possible.

I should imagine that people attempting to do this would start off with the best of intentions but soon run up against the barriers of 1) his unattractive appearance and hygiene problem 2) his petty vindictive nature, which extends to bullying defenceless first-years 3) his inability to find humour in anything that doesn't tear people down ("I see no difference"). So the writer who starts to write Canon!Snape will be subtly drawn over to the Snape of Hidden Depths, in which all negative actions are accorded a positive interpretation ("He persistently bullied Neville Longbottom, a traumatized little first-year away from home for the first time, even though he knew perfectly well what the Death Eaters had done to Neville's parents? Erm... Er... It was Tough Love! Yes, that's it! He wanted to get Neville to stand on his own two feet and he throught the best way to do that was repeated abuse and humiliation! It all makes sense!" etc.)

IMHO any character who'd want a relationship with Orthodox!Snape would have to be a card-carrying masochist.

[pauraque]

So the writer who starts to write Canon!Snape will be subtly drawn over to the Snape of Hidden Depths

That, or the Snape of Surprising Sexual Prowess. (Which, IMO, is nearly impossible to justify. How would Orthodox!Snape have had enough practice at lovemaking to get good at it? And when has he ever cared enough about another person's well-being to even bother?)

IMHO any character who'd want a relationship with Orthodox!Snape would have to be a card-carrying masochist.

Yes. The only character that comes to mind as a likely candidate is Peter Pettigrew, who certainly seems to get off on being dominated and abused. I was very disappointed when I realized that they can't have been lovers, for reasons of canon (unless you're writing Evil!Snape).

[threeoranges.livejournal.com]

That, or the Snape of Surprising Sexual Prowess. (Which, IMO, is nearly impossible to justify. How would Orthodox!Snape have had enough practice at lovemaking to get good at it? And when has he ever cared enough about another person's well-being to even bother?)

Indeed! Unless he's one for paid sexual encounters, or frequents the sort of sauna where "Hello, my name is..." is judged to be irrelevant chit-chat.

Yes. The only character that comes to mind as a likely candidate is Peter Pettigrew, who certainly seems to get off on being dominated and abused. I was very disappointed when I realized that they can't have been lovers, for reasons of canon (unless you're writing Evil!Snape).

True, but who says Pettigrew is the only card-carrying masochist in canon? I think the characters of both Percy and Quirrell scream "Abuse me, I love it!"

[pauraque]

I think the characters of both Percy and Quirrell scream "Abuse me, I love it!"

And I see that your WIP features Snape/Quirrell. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, so I don't know what angle you're working, but it does seem to me that Quirrell would have been intensely interested in Snape, being as Snape is an ex-DE. I can see how that might develop into something more.

Percy does seem to be one for discipline, but I think it's self-discipline more than the desire to be controlled that I see in Quirrell and Peter. At school, Percy revelled in his own authority. And I think that if he did kiss some faculty ass along the way, it was only so that he could gain that authority. After he graduates, he's at the bottom of the ladder again, and goes back to licking his boss's boots to get ahead. But when he deals with his younger siblings, he still takes the position of the authority figure. Can you imagine Quirrell or Peter ever writing the kind of letter Percy wrote to Ron?